Whenever I experience fear of wanting to say, do or act on something, the feeling behind it is almost always shame.
Shame feels like if I expose certain things or feelings about myself, people will find out how flawed or ‘weak’ I am, and then choose not to befriend me.
So I sometimes try to conceal some parts of myself and avoid talking about my feelings and emotions as a way to protect myself from losing people. I desire to be only seen in a positive light.
I am afraid of people thinking bad things of me, or perceive me as anything other than strong, good and well.
But what if I can strip that away and choose to be seen in any light? Good, bad, weak, negative, positive?
After all, trying to predict or control how people think of us to this extent is not possible, so why try?